Warning: There are no pictures of cats in this post

So I've been here for two weeks, this is what I've noticed;

1. Duane Reades EVERYWHERE

For those of you who don’t speak New York, Duane Reade is French for snotty east coast Walgreens. Ok, to be honest it’s not that snotty — you can only be so high and mighty while selling band aids next to adult diapers, but I digress. The point is: Duane Reades, they are everywhere.

2. Hilarious guys at every Duane Reade

At the Duane Reade on my block his name is Paul. Paul is an aspiring actor/writer/astrologist and I am never buying Tampons from him ever again.

3.  All of your fantasies about fabulous gay best friends will come true.

I hoped on a subway at 1am on a Friday night. I stepped onto the train and heard “Giiiiirl, you work’n that hair, mhmm, oh yes you are, whassyoname?” Suddenly I was in a subway car that had been transformed into a game of gay trivia. I’ll leave out the details but lets just say that if you work for MTV and you need some more reality TV show ideas, let’s talk.

4.  Anywhere you go there will be gorgeous Norwegians to ruin your self-esteem

If you ever have a fleeting thought of your own attractiveness be aware that New York will punish you with hordes of beautiful Norwegians who play the harp and wear non-ironic, transparent harem pants.

5. The only thing New Yorkers love more than making fun of themselves is making fun of Brooklyn.

Hipsters. Brooklyn. Psssssh. Am I right?

6.  New Yorkers Do Not Joke About Food

My first day at my new job I ducked out of the office for a slice of pizza. As a virgin New Yorker I made the capital mistake of grabbing a slice at the first deli I came across. When I walked back into the office my new coworkers looked at me anxiously “So, where’d ya go?”

“Oh, I just grabbed a slice at that place on the corner.” One coworker tightened her grip on the stapler she had been holding and my boss just shook his head slowly. “Jus—just check with us before you eat anywhere— OK?”

7.  New Yorkers must know exactly where you were when anything happens to you

Maybe you’re telling a story about the time you saw grumpy cat. Maybe you’re sharing about the time you ran into Minnie Driver at a Dress Barn. If you don’t know the exact location and how far it is from the L to the 6 from the Q, don’t bother.

I have a theory that this location-obsessed culture stems from WAY too many disastrous end-of-the-world movies that take place in New York. Maybe New Yorkers need to know exactly where you were so they can go back and repeat your memory before Manhattan bites the dust.

This is why I will keep shopping at ModCloth

So this is an email that I sent to ModCloth 

And this was the response I got 

I just thought it was cool. Thanks ModCloth. 

Publicly Relating Like A Boss

"Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some hire public relations officers"

Public relations is the art of tricking people into liking you and making them think it was their idea. Sounds like dating right? 

Let's say you have the worlds greatest new product. As we all know the worlds greatest new product would be a time machine. 

Let's say you have a time machine, you need to sell it. So what do you do? 

Advertising guys will tell you to buy million dollar air time space and spend another million dollars on production costs. 

PR is all about earned media. Your PR people will get you on the Sci Fi channel and in Wired Magazinebasically PR relies on the oldest, truest, most real form of communication; Word of mouth.

Thanks to social media you no longer need to hire a fancy smancy PR firm or publicist to join in on the conversation. 

In case you haven't figured in out this far into the blog post, I have ulterior motives here; Watch this cool video, learn about PR, help me get an A and all the dogs on those Sarah Mclachlan commercials will be saved. 

Mom and Pop PR

Playing by the “roles” causes gender gap

Feminism, the f-word we love to love and love to hate, has become a cliche. Women should have equal rights, duh. These days we are pants-wearing, bacon-bringing machines. Although this role reversal is a sign of progression, its results are not ideal.

While women are out and about kicking trash and taking names, men are falling behind in school and more and more women are opting for a career outside the home.

The stay-at-home dad used to be fuel for country songs and rom-coms. It used to be funny to watch Dad rewind Barney for the 18th time and Mom do it all in high heels.

However, as the gender gap grows, the super woman is becoming a reality.

Unfortunately, it is tough to make cupcakes and vacuum while climbing the corporate ladder.

More and more American women are opting for a career outside the home, and it is changing our culture.
“If you thought today’s ‘hookup’ culture was run by young Testosterone-charged men who [don’t want] commitment, think again,” wrote Hannah Rosin for the New York Times. “These women have ‘hearts of steel,’ and the hookup culture gives them [benefits] without getting in the way of career building.”

What is going on here? Women are craving independence and power, and men have had no option but to assume a less-dominant role.

How many women like chivalrous men? How many women roll their eyes when a guy opens their door?
You can’t hold out for a hero while using those boots to walk all over him. In our quest for equality, we have bullied men into terror and we are learning that we can’t have it all.

Mom works full time, opens her own doors, bakes her own bread and micromanages her kids and no one is happy, least of all her. How has this happened?

According to the Deseret News, the college graduation rate is 50.1 percent for males and 56.4 percent for females.

It starts early on the classroom. It’s cool for a boy to be smart; but it is cooler to be funny, and that attitude carries on.

Did you know boys get the majority of D’s and F’s in most schools? How about that 90 percent of discipline problems in public schools are caused by boys and 80 percent of all high school dropoutd are boys?
For every 100 women who earn a bachelor’s degree, only 73 men earn one. This chasm is not making anyone happy.

In August 2012, Anne-Marie Slaughter, a contributor for The Atlantic, wrote “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All.”

In the article, she details her descent from corporate dominance. “When people asked why I had left government, I explained that I’d come home … because of my desire to be with my family and my conclusion that juggling high-level government work with the needs of two teenage boys was not possible.”
Slaughter mentions how she had always scoffed at less dedicated women “taking time off for their families” and trading their occupational footing in for maternal instincts.

Maybe women can do it all, but they shouldn’t have to, and they don’t want to. The battle of the sexes needs to end before the gender gap expands even more.

When feminism started picking up steam in the ‘60s, a certain radical image was attached to it. 50 years later, however, we should be more open to a less drastic definition and let men in on the game. We don’t need to push each other down to be successful.

With our divine understanding of the roles of women and men we should play by the “roles.”

Let Them Drink Coke

Two weeks ago, a great awakening shook Mormondom as closet caffeine addicts chugged their first guilt-free Cokes. In response to a statement on NBC’s “Rock Center with Brian Williams,” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints released a statement clarifying the Church’s stance on caffeine, stating that Church health practices do not mention the use of caffeine.

Although few people in the Church still live by an imaginary anti-caffeine law, for those outside Club Mormon, this is big news.

“Journalists — from The New York Times’ columnist Maureen Dowd to The Associated Press —  have often stated that Mormons don’t drink caffeine. Last week, NBC News’ hour-long feature on Mormonism made the same mistake, prompting the church’s initial statement on its website,” Peggy Fletcher Stack wrote in an article on The Huffington Post’s website.

Although caffeine was never actually banned, its consumption has always been a taboo. During his appearance on “60 Minutes” in 1996, President Gordon B. Hinckley commented that Mormons avoid caffeine. Bruce R. McConkie (and other church leaders) also made many similar remarks during his life.
This release from the Church sparked a fiery conversation, which soon moved to the BYU campus in Provo. A representative for BYU claimed there was “no demand” for caffeinated drinks.

“No demand”? My mother doesn’t drink caffeine, but I think she is probably the only one left. According to www.LDSLiving.com, caffeine is served in the Church’s Joseph Smith Memorial Building and other restaurants on Temple Square. I’m no marketing expert, but I would bet that BYU dining services probably wouldn’t suffer for adding a caffeinated beverage to the menu.

The Church is a private institution; if the Church doesn’t want to sell caffeine on BYU campuses, it doesn’t have to. But c’mon BYU, do you really think there is no demand?

BYU students have taken it upon themselves to prove to BYU Dining Services there is a demand. The Facebook page “BYU for Caffeine” sprung up, attracting both students and nonstudents. “Pepsi” and “Coke” logo shirts dot the campus, as students sport the most rebellious gear they can come up with to support their cause.

According to Stack’s article, the page, created by a BYU student, was later taken down. The creator said the page was becoming “too contentious.”

Caffeine is obviously not a healthy option. We all know the dangers of an over-buzzed study session, or a friend who can’t get through the day without a Dr. Pepper. But if this were a health issue, even the wholesome Sprite or a chaste root beer couldn’t avoid the controversy.

If this were about health, maybe BYU needs to get rid of its fast food court or, heaven forbid, the fudge shop in the BYU Bookstore. However, this discussion is not about health. It is about “demand,” and BYU students are demanding.

Let them drink coke.

Jezka Feature Presentates Herself.

Okay, before you partake in 58 seconds of vanity allow me to warn you that this is A. Boring and B. it is a phototized representation of my everyday life... so yeah- not interesting. I tried to take a picture of myself everyday this semester just for fun...I missed a couple days.

 It is mostly for my own joy (and maybe my mothers peace of mind to know that I don't leave the house in sweats everyday.) Also for posterity who have yet to exsist (as far as I know) so as they too can appreciate me for 58 seconds and then move on their real lives.

Anyway, you can't say I didn't warn you :

When show and tell meets "Shoot 'Em Up"

 photo: babble.com

Giovanni’s Bistro in Tennessee is a classy joint. The rustic atmosphere is reminiscent of a chic Italian cafe. I’m sure it attracts a high-end crowd. My brain would be doing cerebral Olympics figuring out which fork to use.


It is easy to imagine floating into such a restaurant, dolled up and ready for a sophisticated gastronomic experience.


Giovanni’s is also the ideal location for a shoot out: bloody, gory, elaborate and public. It is now one of many establishments where any patron can legally carry a gun. For those of us who aren’t Wyatt Erp, this may be disconcerting.


Tennessee, Arizona, Georgia and Virginia recently enacted laws explicitly allowing loaded guns in bars. (Eighteen other states allow weapons in restaurants that serve alcohol.) This is great because firearms and mental lubricants are a great combination.


However, under Tennessee’s new law, gun permit holders are not supposed to drink alcohol while carrying their weapons.


Did you also know that people under 21 aren’t permitted to drink? In case you didn’t go to high school, you should know that people occasionally ignore laws of this nature.


You can bring your gun to the bar, but no drinking? So gun slingers are hauling their weapons of minimal destruction into places just for exposition? As far as I understand people go to bars to drink. Now I guess you go to bars to show off your gun.


“If someone’s sticking a gun in my face, I’m not relying on their charity to keep me alive,” said Mr. Ringenberg, a Tennessee resident, to the New York Times last week. Mr. Ringenberg carries the gun for personal protection when he is not at work.


I know I am relieved to know that conscientious citizens such as Mr. Ringenber can take the law into his own hands at any moment.


Let’s talk Second Amendment. The Constitution is great. I’ve been referred to as a First Amendment nut on more than one occasion.


However, it seems to me that as much as we have the right to bear arms, toting a gun in a bar or restaurant is completely asinine. If you feel that your life is in jeopardy every time you leave the house I recommend A.) psychological assistance and B.) more professional law enforcement.


In a world where we feel the necessity to carry weapons, we invoke mutually assured destruction. People will suffer. Citizens will die.

President Packer in the news

President Boyd K. Packer addressed the general membership of The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints on the issue of homosexuality on Oct. 3 during the 180^th Semiannual General Conference.

In his address, President Packer said that homosexuality can be overcome and emphasized the Church’s stance on marriage as a bond between a man and a woman.

According to the Associated Press “National gay rights activists have called for Packer to recant statements that homosexuality is unnatural and can be overcome, calling the comments factually inaccurate and dangerous.”

Before Packer’s talk was added to the lds.org archives, he made several changes to it in order to soften the tone.

In regards to the changes, Scott Trotter, a spokesman for the Church, issued the following statement:

“The Monday following every General Conference, each speaker has the opportunity to make any edits necessary to clarify differences between what was written and what was delivered or to clarify the speaker’s intent. President Packer has simply clarified his intent.

As we have said repeatedly, the Church’s position on marriage and family is clear and consistent.  It is based on respect and love for all of God’s children.”

In his address, he said: “Some suppose that they were born pre-set and cannot overcome what they feel are inborn tendencies toward the impure and unnatural. Not so! Why would our Heavenly Father do that to anyone? Remember he is our father.”

The website, which now reads  “temptations,” has replaced “tendencies” and the question about God’s motives has been removed entirely.

“Some suppose that they were preset and cannot overcome what they feel are inborn temptations toward the impure and unnatural. Not so! Remember, God is our Heavenly Father.”

In response, several members of the Church have launched a Facebook campaign to support President Packer. One group, whose membership boasts over 4,000 is named “I support Boyd K. Packer.” The page states its intent in the information section, “This page was created with the intent for supporters of Packer to be able to express this support. We understand that you may have been offended or hurt by Packer’s statement. However, this is not the proper venue to voice such feelings.”

Along with the Facebook group, a Facebook event was created called “WE LOVE YOU- President Boyd K. Packer.” The purpose of the event was to send President Packer 100,000 letter of support before Oct. 15. Over 8,000 Facebook members are attending the “event.”

On journalism

The leprous career of a journalist is paved with adjectives like bloodthirsty and ferocious. Seymour Hersh, who wrote an expose on the White House reaction to the Abu Ghraib scandal for “The New Yorker” is no exception.

In an interview with Medill, Herch kicks back. With the casualness of a journalist, and the arrogance or someone who deserves to be arrogant, Herch rolls up his sleeves.

A pen jabs out of his pocket, a reminder of the only weapon in his subtle arsenal.

“You hear all these stories about (the) ‘ferocious reporter.’ All I did was just deal with him like a human being for a long time. No pen, no pencil, ‘let’s just talk about it.’"

Herch is referring to experience with General Antonio M. Taguba.

The internal U.S. Army report “The Taguba Report,” detailed information on abuse at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq.

In the report, General Taguba told of “Numerous incidents of sadistic, blatant, and wanton criminal abuses were inflicted on several detainees . . . systemic and illegal abuse. “

Herch wanted a closer look.

After a series of interviews earlier that year Herch reported the notorious events of the internal affair.

General Antonio M. Taguba met with Rumsfeld in his pentagon conference room on the eve of Rumsfelds undoing. The 24 hours that followed their tryst would result in televised hearings before the Senate and the House Armed Services Committees about abuses at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq.

Taguba’s arrival at the Pentagon met with a hollow greeting from his old friend Lieutenant General Bantz Craddock.

The iron curtain surrounding Abu Ghrab was shattering. Photographic evidence of abused prisoners were surfacing.

“If there was a redeeming aspect to the affair, it was in the thoroughness and the passion of the Army’s initial investigation” said Hersh.

Taguba told Hatch understood that such an inquiry would damage, if not destroy his career. “ If I lie, I lose. And, if I tell the truth, I lose.”

Upon Taguba’s entrance Rumsfeld sarcastically roared. “Here . . . comes . . . that famous General Taguba—of the Taguba report!” The fun was just beginning.

In a conference several years ago Hersh told of the time commitment to a story of this magnitude.

“About a year and a half ago, I ran into somebody that knew him (Taguba) and finally he agreed to have a cup of coffee, and we spent a year talking.”

Taguba had successfully avoided press for many months after his initial repot was leaked. Eventually he decided it was a story that needed telling, and Hersh would be the man to put pen to paper.

“I talk to people on the inside who are concerned” said Hersh to John Stewart on the Daily Show, referring to General Taguba.

“They took over the country, like a coo, they over ran the press, the bureaucracy, the press and we all fell down so easily” said Hersh of the Bush Administration, speaking out after his investigation.

Seymour Hersh went on to write a book called “Chain of command; From 9/11 to Abu Ghraib” Before the book was published the white house put out a statement in reference to many of the accusations in Hersh’s book. The statement sardonically mentioned how many of Hersh’s sources remained anonymous and that White House investigators would be more than happy to talk with anyone with information.

“After my stories came out in may one kid came forward and said he knew more, and they immediately came out and changed him for not coming forward sooner.“ said Hersh in reference to the White House statement.

“These people came, this group of zealots, unchecked by the press, and changed the way people see us . . . When we learn everything there is to learn about those prisons we are going to be mightily ashamed”

The Mormon Mystique- Dropping the F-Bomb

Betty Friedan rolled over in her grave this month as conservative cover girl Sarah Palin dropped the F-bomb on mainstream media. She isn’t the only one.  Female candidates in South Dakota and Arkansas, California and Nevada threw down the gauntlet last week in the primaries, declaring their wins a major triumph for women’s rights, much to the distress of members of the original feminist movement.

“It almost feels as if all these women winning are kind of a blow to feminism.”  Tina Brown griped on “Good Morning America.”

As a more conservative feminism emerges, it becomes obvious that the feminist movement not even about women’s rights anymore. Apparently, the only thing mystical about the feminine mystique is the stereotypical perpetuation of the bra-less anarchist begging for attention.

As women on the international stage play tug-of-war with the F-word, BYU-Idaho still struggles to remove itself from the mire of ultra-conservative Betty Crocker like ideals. 

The LDS church is known for strong ties to mothers in the home and divinely appointed gender identity. This does not bind the church to any kind of anti-feminist agenda. As of today there is no declaration on record stating that women are not equally competent as men in any arena, political or otherwise.

Nevertheless, women find themselves entangled in a self-inflicted and confining sense of womanhood.

Feminism means to believe in women’s rights right? Well then how can the LDS faith be anything less than a feminist organization? How can we?

When feminism started picking up steam in the 60s, a certain radical image was attached it. 50 years later, however, we should be more open to a less drastic definition. With our divine understanding of the roles of women and men, it is impossible for a member of the LDS faith to not be a feminist, without rejecting the inspired notion that we are all children of a heavenly creator.

We have become a people preoccupied with image. This preoccupation stunts our growth. We do not take the time to wade through the murky swamp of stigma, and instead find ourselves constantly on the outskirts of true controversy.

Unfortunately, in 2010 it appears membership to club feminist still requires not only sacrificing a bra and personal hygiene, but any political ideals without a radical slant.

Two definitions of feminism have evolved; the actual pursuit of women’s equality, and the perpetuation of a liberal agenda.
“Do you still cheer,” Slate magazine’s Sara Libby asked, “if the [glass] ceiling is crashed by conservative businesswomen?”
The notion that ‘business person’ and ‘progressive’ are oxymoron’s is on the same vein as the archaic ideals that kicked off feminism in the first place.  

According to Merriam-Webster feminism is “the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.”
Somehow Webster missed the Birkenstock, and VW van requirement. Not to mention that clause stating completely exempting anyone who owns a three piece business suit from the equal rights posse.

How is a conservative, politically active, stay-at-home mom who believes in equal rights anything less than a feminist? Women and men alike need to recognize this movement as an equal rights issue, and not as an attack on the family.